I recall when I first heard it,
The terrible ‘OH’ from hell.
Inferred in a way, that they got I was gay,
But would rather eat their own spleen than to say.
I would have preferered some profanity,
At least it would fit with my sanity.

It happened not long into second year,
Mum asked ‘How was school today, dear?
Tons of cute guys in your year now, I bet!.’
I said that I hadn’t noticed one yet.
And then I replied, strength from anger inside, when
She asked was there someone I fancy?’
I said ‘yes. She’s perky and hot, tho’ she ain’t got a cock.
She’s blonde, and HER name is Nancy.
And she said ‘OH’..

I was at a club, dancing wild,
A guy came up, dipped and smiled,
He asked me if I’d like to dance,
I said thanks very much, but no.
Yet He assumed an arrogant stance,
But I stared him down with a glance,
Said there were unwanted things in his pants.
I don’t like those ugly construction cranes,
But I love a sleek Lamborghini with brains.
And he said…’OH’..(dyke)

A party at Uni, my ride home was late,
I sat outside the of house just to wait,
But a charming guy joined me,
Started to chat,
So I said stop right there, no more of that,
I’m firmly and lovingly girl parts attached.
He gave me a smile, soon had to go,
But should join him on the weekend,
Give skating a go.
He winked, said he’d be there the whole day,
Skating, you know,
With his partner named Joe.

And I said ‘OH’.

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