Letter to the editor..

Dear Alice,

It is with great indifference that I write to inform you of the death of your soul.

You may, by now, have noticed feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, anxiety and similar sensations, to a persistent and overwhelming degree. This will be followed by the disconnection of all emotional utilities until further notice.

Nevermind, it’s not as though you were using it in the first place.

Regards,

Alice.