Dear Alice..

Dear Alice, I’m ‘fine’,
Hope this finds you in kind.
I’ve been writing some time
To you now, and I find you
Strange but the best friend of mine,
At least here in my mind.
Here inside of my mind, at least most the time.

Dear Alice, how are you?
If I am to stay true,
Then I have to confess
That I’m lonely and blue,
I don’t know what to do, but I couldn’t care less,
When the sky..The sky I swore would stay blue,
Is gangrenous in hue.

Dear Alice, I’m dying,
Lost and I’m crying,
No amount of applying
Myself
Really matters
Anymore.
And I know that we swore..

Dear Alice, I love you,
But I hate your guts too.
Everybody assumes
I suture up in my room.
With some string and old glue,
But I’m confessing to you,
There’s not much left I can do.

Dear Alice, I forgot,
To tell you just what
You really want me to not.
I sliced completely through our promise knot,
Along with my flesh, veins and a lot
That when I cut it apart,
All those stitches and knots,
Can’t put Humpty back up on top.

Dear Alice, don’t you
Feel the very same too?
It’s not just things I go through,
But all the things , all the things, all the things I’ll not do.

So I’m cold. On the floor bleeding out
In so many different ways,
And every wound is deeply laid
By every single wasted day,
The thoughtless things that people say.

And I don’t want to stay, no, don’t want to stay.
Not like this, not here anyway.
Hope you’ll forgive me some day.
My Dearest.

Love, Alice.

Just call Alice..

I’m a little bit slow I confess,
But I get there in the end,
And now I sadly realise that,
I was never anyone’s friend.

I was just the joke that they kept around
To pick themselves up
When they felt down.
Just call Alice.

When their life was feeling tragic,
When they were having a hard time,
They realised that their life was gold,
If compared to mine.
Just call Alice.

Stupidly I thought
My company was sought
For what I had inside,
Something in me that i brought.
But it was always lies,
I don’t know why I’m surpised
They called Alice.

Liar, liar, liar!

I write poems how I’m going through Hell,
‘Cos up close I know you can’t really tell.
I spend days getting mentally ready,
So for one afternoon you think I’m better already.
Then I go home and fall
In a heap ‘gainst the wall,
Because if I’m better at all,
It’s at putting on elaborate shows,
So that you just won’t know…
I’m not.

It takes me three days to mend,
And then I do it again,
But the laugh is on me,
Because the person you see
Is who you expect me to be,
Anytime, anywhere.

And it’s simply not fair,
Because that person’s not there,
No that person’s not there,
Because that person is me,
And that person’s not me.

Such a perfect disguise
That you believed all the lies,
But it’s to my demise,
’cause when it’s time for the truth
You just believe in your eyes
From all the times that I lied.

Lied that every day, I’m OK.