permission to self-hate

May I not look into myself
And find,
I’m not where I wished to be
At this particular time?
Why always try to
Invalidate my self-disappointment, or
Disregard my undirected rage?
My introspective deconstruction
Is my valid cage.
My right to hate myself,
Completely just.
How dare you say I mustn’t,
When I must, I must.
I must.