‘Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley
Through the middle of my soul*.
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the middle of my head..’
-I’m On Fire / Bruce Springsteen
*original lyric says ‘skull’. Tori Amos cover says, ‘soul’. Prefer Tori Ver.
‘He said, “I see you now, and you are so very young,
But I’ve seen more battles lost than I have battles won,
And I’ve got this intuition, says it’s all for your fun.
And now will you tell me why?”
Well the young queen, she fixed him with an arrogant eye.
She said, “You won’t understand, and you may as well not try”
But her face was a child’s, and he thought she would cry,
But she closed herself up like a fan.
And she said, “I have swallowed a secret burning thread.
It cuts me inside, and often I’ve bled”.’
– from ‘The Queen and The Soldier‘ by Suzanne Vega
Some quotes on depression from two of my favourite authors, and pretty much how I feel right now.
” In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the lips and face and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smile and kept moving. If I could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door I would have done. But I was going to sleep at night and waking in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence.”. ― Neil Gaiman
“Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope.
That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad.
Sad hurts but it’s a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel.
Depression is very different.”. ― J.K. Rowling
-Doctor Who / The Eleventh Hour. ( Matt Smith)
“The monkeys have run out of chickens to fuck, and that’s why the world is the way it is. . .”.
– Beyond Wonderland.
Poems to resume at some random time in the unforeseable future. Because no one can see the future.
I don’t GO crazy, I AM crazy.
I just go normal from time to time.
Part 1: Identifying The Pieces.
– – –
“To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one’s been crueler than I’ve been to me.
I’m sorry to myself,
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I’m sorry to myself,
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.”
– Alanis Morissette / Sorry to Myself
‘And since we’re down,
Might as well stay.
Might as well fry some eggs.’
– Tori Amos
Question: “Are you a cat person, or a dog person?”
OGFurious: “I think I’m just like a regular full blown human person.
I didn’t even know they had hybrids like that. It sounds fucked-up.”
“Now I’m split in two, I’m half me and half you,
But I hate us both, don’t you?”
-Missy Higgins / Peachy
“The problem with suicide, when you talk about suicide, most of the people I’ve experienced say:
‘well, it doesn’t do any good, most of the people that talk about suicide just do it for attention’.
If that’s you, you can just eat all the dicks, then vomit them up, and then go fuck yourself with all those dicks.”
- Lee Lemon
“You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.”
“The worst thing you can do when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you”.
-merrybitchmas91 (Bored Panda)
“Nothing’s sad until it’s over.
Then everything is.”
“Imagine you were dying.
Imagine you were afraid and a long way from home in terrible pain.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, you looked up and saw the face of the Devil himself.”
- Doctor Who : Season 06.Episode 13
“Real relationships don’t break up,
They break down.”