Lost in Space

I go walking in the rain to hide my tears,
Quite the cliche, but still,
Amongst the hot fears and chill,
It’s the only way I stay standing,
Without understanding
Why.

Hate the cold, love the thrills, so
I embrace the pills.
Sweet lies as they laugh,
‘Though for a second I feel well,
It’s false promises by half,
Only bringing darker hell.

I crawl into cracks,
Hiding from the doubt,
But I’m so fucking lost,
Am I crawling in or out?

Trembling, I tremble more.
Parts of space not seen before.
Stuck on the event horizon in my heart,
An endless fall into a deep black hole,
Major Tom, I’ve lost control.
I’m a total mess.
I ache more, I cry more. I become less.

Have You Seen This Life?

Have you seen my life around?
Now it’s lost,
I have found,
The whole world wanting.

Not pages torn from fairy tales,
Far stranger by many accords,
No songs to make a million sales,
Or plays stepped out on Broadway boards.

But it’s a dizzy, dancing, summer spark,
A falling, flying Meadowlark, and
All those nights spent in the park
Laughing in rain, and wet, and dark.

Also the sharpest knife that ever was,
A blade that has no par.
It has to be that sharp because
It constantly cuts, with ne’er a scar.

Those kind of days are hard to misplace,
Oft’ tattooed upon my face,
There, in ink you can’t erase,
Writ large the tale, my fall from grace.

Window Pain..

What good are windows?
The view stays the same:
Grey, grey days only promising rain.
One more sign I’ve lost control of my brain.
Perhaps I should say ‘I never really had it’.
It’s not as though you can reach out and grab it.
Trying too hard to do whatever it takes:
Deliberately remaking all my remade mistakes,
Never get to choose just which part of me breaks.
It’s like Tori and her ‘Little Earthquakes’:
“Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces”.

comfortable precipitation

As grey clouds gather round,
The drops begin to tumble,
They make a soothing sound
As the sky begins to rumble.

But it’s warm in here beside you,
And I’ll snuggle in your sweater,
We’ll do what birds and bees do,
As the world outside gets wetter.