I go walking in the rain to hide my tears, Quite the cliche, but still, Amongst the hot fears and chill, It’s the only way I stay standing, Without understanding Why.
Hate the cold, love the thrills, so I embrace the pills. Sweet lies as they laugh, ‘Though for a second I feel well, It’s false promises by half, Only bringing darker hell.
I crawl into cracks, Hiding from the doubt, But I’m so fucking lost, Am I crawling in or out?
Trembling, I tremble more.
Parts of space not seen before. Stuck on the event horizon in my heart, An endless fall into a deep black hole, Major Tom, I’ve lost control. I’m a total mess. I ache more, I cry more. I become less.
What good are windows?
The view stays the same:
Grey, grey days only promising rain.
One more sign I’ve lost control of my brain.
Perhaps I should say ‘I never really had it’.
It’s not as though you can reach out and grab it.
Trying too hard to do whatever it takes:
Deliberately remaking all my remade mistakes,
Never get to choose just which part of me breaks.
It’s like Tori and her ‘Little Earthquakes’:
“Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces”.